Ianto, who is, inexplicably, the DJ, downs his drink, and then heads out onto the dancefloor to cut in on THE DANCE. Oh, Ianto, what hast thou done? The Lord is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the Lord hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet. It takes a while for Jack and Gwen to notice his presence, but eventually, the break apart, and Gwen drifts back over to Rhys. Jack dances with Ianto, but he is watching Gwen all the way through.
I think we’re out of the woods now. Rhys and the Torchwood team sit around a table, Ianto brings drinks. Rhys shakes his head in disbelief as he notices his and Gwen’s parents all fast asleep. “You’d never think that a couple hours ago, they nearly all got torn apart by some alien psycho bitch,” he says. Food for thought, I’m sure you’ll agree. Let’s just take a moment to note that Mrs. Cooper is lying with her head resting on Brenda’s shoulder. Now every good fangirl know that bitter enemies are always just pretending to hate each other to hide their real feeling of troo wub, no exceptions; and so, this is the Subtextiest Look of the Episode. Trust me on this one. Gwen suddenly realises that their parents aren’t the only ones who seem to be feeling exhausted after this long day, in fact, everyone who isn’t sitting around their table has suddenly dozed off right there. She gives Jack an incredulous “You Retconned our families?” then rolls her eyes and laughs. “It’s probably for the best.” Oh, yes, I’m sure Mervin is so glad to have died so that you could stubbornly stick to an arbitrary date for a wedding that NO ONE WILL EVEN REMEMBER. Thanks, Gwen. Jack offers Gwen and Rhys a couple of champagne glasses, saying that perhaps the two of them should join their families. Why would you ever think that was appropriate? This is deranged. You know what? I’m done. Nothing else important happens anyway. THE END.
Next time: Did you know that traveling shows were really creepy? Well, you will. You will.
Oh, alright, before that, Jack flicks through a box of old black and white photographs, including one of himself at what would appear to be his own wedding. It’s possible that’ll come up again.
April 9, 2009 at 10:30 am
I think that it is a very interesting and amusing article. Practically all its main points are true.