Torchwood episode 2×10 – “From Out Of The Rain”
Episode grade: C-
We’re in the middle of a field somewhere. A dude with full Ringmaster regalia (top hat, twirly mustache, extremely scary voice; the works) is doing the whole “Roll up! Roll up!” thing, and keeps repeating the phrase “a once in a lifetime show”. I’m getting some slightly villainous vibes off this guy, I don’t know what it is. We pan around to see what you’ll find in this once in a lifetime show, and there’s fire-jugglers, a strongman and some horrible cross between a mime and a clown. Well, not sleeping tonight! The old-timey nature of all this, along with the clothes of the audience members, is hinting that we’re probably in the past right now. A woman and a little girl hesitate at the entrance, and the Ringmaster hands the girl a ticket in a creepy way. The little girl walks into the show, and suddenly everything; circus performance, audience, Ringmaster, signs and all, everything vanishes. Except for the hesitant woman, who is left standing alone in an empty field in shock. Eerie music plays.
Credits. Episode by Peter J. Hammond, previously responsible for “Small Worlds”, and also some show called Sapphire & Steel. Now, I don’t know or care what that is, but I keep goddamn hearing about it in relation to both of his Torchwood episodes, which are not actually Torchwood episodes at all, so I imagine they are probably Sapphire & Steel episodes with the Torchwood cast badly integrated into the occasional scene in order to pass them off as Torchwood episodes. Now, what I want to say is this; fuck Peter J. Hammond. Until he can prove that he is actually able to write an episode of Torchwood, stop hiring him to write episodes of Torchwood.
Some pimply young man with glasses sits in a dingy basement, watching a grainy old black & white film on a projector screen with a perverse grin on his face. One of these things does not fit with the others. If he was watching porn, this would all seem so much more normal.
Hub. Jack drinks coffee. There’s a weird sort of screaming noise on the soundtrack, but Jack doesn’t react to it. I don’t know what the point of that was, besides saying “See! It’s a Torchwood episode! I bet you’ve never seen Captain Jack Harkness drinking coffee in anything except Torchwood, so it must be!” Well, I’m not so easily fooled.
Back to the basement. The film rolls on. Basement Boy declares it “Great” in a heavily northern accent. The Ringmaster from the opening suddenly appears, making a ‘come here’ gesture. Basement Boy is confused. “What is that?”
Hub. There’s some whispering, and a little snatch of carnival music, and this time, Jack does react.
