And it’s time for the “why shouldn’t I fire you?”s. Dan, shockingly, makes no mention of the fact that he put himself forward for PM. I know! I was shocked too. Instead, he goes for “I’m an entrepreneur”, which LSAS interrupts to point out is not something one generally says about oneself, but more something that others observe. Dan amends his statement; “It has been observed, perhaps not by you yet”.
Stuart Baggs™ gives an embarrassing rehearsed speech that goes like this: “cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché, all of these things are clichés, I’m all of these things, but I’m not a cliché.” Also, “give me a hundred grand, and I’ll give you back ten times that within a year, or your money back.” LSAS makes a rare actually good joke; “I had an offer like that from Nigeria once…” You can tell it’s funny, because the Viceroys laugh too.
Alex says he’s been working for “one of Britain’s top entrepreneurs” (see, observed by others, not himself) for the past two and a half years, though he admits after LSAS’s questioning that yes, he has been made redundant, but in these hard times, many good and honest people are facing these hardships through no fault of their own, and he is one of those people. It’s easily the best speech of the three of them.
In summary: Dan, everybody says you were a terrible leader. Stuart Baggs™, you’re a clown. Alex, you didn’t really do anything. Dan, you fucked up big time, you’re fired. Obviously. Really, the only decision. After they’ve left, LSAS tells the Viceroys that he was halfway to getting rid of Stuart Baggs™ too, and he “ain’t putting up with him for much longer”. Sadness.
Back at the house, it’s time for the Aspiring Corporate Weasel Death Watch, which is always fun. Christopher makes the entirely on point observation that Dan should be the one to go, but Stuart Baggs™ could trip himself up with his inability to shut up. Raleigh says he hopes to see Alex return, and everybody seems to agree, more or less. The survivors return, and Stuart Baggs™ of course says something cocky and toolish, but the real surprise is Alex milking it for all it is worth, saying it felt like “climbing Mount Everest”, but he is glad Dan brought him in because “it felt so good to BATTER HIM DOWN!” which gets him a standing ovation, because these people are, to a man, totally crazy.
In his taxi home, all Dan says is that he knew he was taking a risk by standing up to be PM, and unfortunately that risk didn’t pay off. Well, that’s no fun.
So, what have we learned today? Leadership is about more than giving orders. Nobody will buy raw sausages from a man in a silly hat knocking on their front door, not even in porn. LSAS doesn’t always appreciate a cocky bastard. A product with less than 42% meat content cannot be called a sausage. And of course, Families Love Fun Names For Their Kids.
Next week… something with holidays that makes Laura cry! And makes LSAS call one or other or both of the teams a “bunch of bloody amateurs”! See you then.
October 13, 2010 at 8:35 pm |
You missed out the best part about the food miles, which was ‘Ours has… lots and lots less!’ Knowing your prodcut.
This week’s reveals, once again, that I cannot bear to watch pitches.